Insurance (??), Anniversaries & Cosmos (Not Necessarily in that Order)

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Mutual of Omaha Insurance Company sent me a solicitation in yesterday's (July 7, 2012) post: Supplemental Cancer Protection. The advert proudly announces that it PAYS for, in what looks to be a thoughtful descending order of consideration,







...screening and/or procedures
...hospital room and ICU
...drug and medication
...radiation, chemo and immunotherapy
...surgery
...doctor visits
...follow up doctor visits
...anesthesia (okay, this should have been up there with the surgery)
...blood and blood plasma benefits
...hospice care (they are hoping for this benefit before having to pay for the following)
...ambulance services
...x-rays and labs
...home health care
...skilled nursing facility or rehab ...all for the low monthly rate of $9.07.

The hook in this solicitation is: DON'T WAIT over 1.5 million new cancer cases are expected to be diagnosed in 2010 alone* (*American Cancer Society). Um...guess Mutual of OH-maha is using up past years' surplus.  According to the American Cancer Society Facts & Figures for 2012, 1,638,910 new cancer diagnosis are anticipated in the U.S. (and yes...that is over 1.5M) And, it is expected that the U.S. will see 577,190 cancer-related deaths by year's end. 39,510 of these are expected to be due to breast cancer.

The catch?  You can request coverage, even if you have had cancer...as long as it been more than five years.

I guess I am on the cancer junk mail solicitation list. Luck me.

I won't be sending in my request, however. Not just because I have a modicum of good sense and do not fall prey to undesired solicitations. But, because I wouldn't qualify. I don't meet the 5-year prerequisite.

Three years ago, TODAY, I received the diagnosis of stage III-B invasive lobular carcinoma. One year (actually 362 days ago) TODAY, I received the re diagnosis of stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Despite these ominous edicts, I am still here. Why?  or rather...WHY NOT?

Could be because I did not venture down the oft-traveled rabbit hole of conventional treatment?

Could be because I did explore alternative therapies and supplements that quite possibly worked?

Could be because I am undeniably one tenacious b*tch?

Could be because I have an overblown sense of my own importance, so much so that I feel my family and work (and avocations) cannot get on without me?

Could be that the course and manifestation of cancer cells is still such a conundrum to the medical arts, that without the predictability of imposed variables (e.g. radiation, chemotherapy, Tamoxifen, etc) the course of cancer cannot be predicted?

Could be I have an overdeveloped grasp on denial?

Whatever the reason or rationale, I am here. Enjoying (through gritted teeth) the onset of grey hairs; discovering new "character lines" in my caricature of a 50-something punim; wondering at the capriciousness of my weight and waistline; and taking each day as a new challenge. And, giddy as a toddler that I am here to b*tch about such shallow and pedestrian concerns, as well as everything else.

Bring on the shallow and mix up the Cosmos ... and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to batsh*t b*tchy me!