I have been chasing the ellusive pea in a shell game, and I am growing cross-eyed!
Those who share my shoes blanche at the usual cancer tropes. My newest personal visualization is not original, but it sums up my fall season. Monitoring my health has not been a game of medical skill, but of chance and opportunity. With all such slight-of-hands, if you stay focused you can get lucky and track the path of the disease. Take your eyes off the trajectory for a second and the forces will push the "pea" to unexpected destinations. The gamer, as always, is unscrupulous.
June 2011 - "Evolving lymphatic metastasis" / "hypermetabolic focus also seen in the anterior abdominal wall near the base of the umbilicus...soft tissue metastasis cannot be excluded"
...I then started on an aggressive regimen of supplements; bi-weekly high dose IV vitamin C; and weekly ozone infusion treatments...
November 2011 - "July 2011, core biopsy sampling of left axillary lymph node demonstrated metastatic invasive lobular cancer [but at this time] no suspicious abnormalities are identified...may represent positive response to treatment."
...I then tapper off aggressive regimen and opted to do a modified maintenance program of supplements only...veins can only take so much sticking.
August 2012 - Concurrent pneumonia and shingles. Both controlled with broad-based antibiotics.
September 2012 - Sharp intermittent chest pains and shortness of breath unresolved. PCP orders EKG and Chest CT, and refers to pulmonologist and cardiologist.
October 2012 - "Subpleural nodule in the left lower lobe" / "metabolic activity in left axillary"
November 2012 - "Shadow present on right lung...recheck in 2 months with follow up chest CT with contrast"
...Weight loss of 6 lbs over the course of a two plus weeks...Chest pains are now accompanied with nausea and heart burn. Falling asleep curled up in weeble position, propped up because laying on back increases pain. Laying on side makes rib cage feel like its splintering. Not much recuperative sleep happening. Sucks!
November 2012 - "Chronic pericarditis secondary to invasive lobular carcinoma...recheck in 2 months with follow up echocardiagram"
...Restart ozone infusion treatments. Start pounding "Meriva (aka Curcumin") like "skittles" (to challenge the inflammation). Scheduling IV vitamin C treatments. The game plays on.
Those who share my shoes blanche at the usual cancer tropes. My newest personal visualization is not original, but it sums up my fall season. Monitoring my health has not been a game of medical skill, but of chance and opportunity. With all such slight-of-hands, if you stay focused you can get lucky and track the path of the disease. Take your eyes off the trajectory for a second and the forces will push the "pea" to unexpected destinations. The gamer, as always, is unscrupulous.
June 2011 - "Evolving lymphatic metastasis" / "hypermetabolic focus also seen in the anterior abdominal wall near the base of the umbilicus...soft tissue metastasis cannot be excluded"
...I then started on an aggressive regimen of supplements; bi-weekly high dose IV vitamin C; and weekly ozone infusion treatments...
November 2011 - "July 2011, core biopsy sampling of left axillary lymph node demonstrated metastatic invasive lobular cancer [but at this time] no suspicious abnormalities are identified...may represent positive response to treatment."
...I then tapper off aggressive regimen and opted to do a modified maintenance program of supplements only...veins can only take so much sticking.
August 2012 - Concurrent pneumonia and shingles. Both controlled with broad-based antibiotics.
September 2012 - Sharp intermittent chest pains and shortness of breath unresolved. PCP orders EKG and Chest CT, and refers to pulmonologist and cardiologist.
October 2012 - "Subpleural nodule in the left lower lobe" / "metabolic activity in left axillary"
November 2012 - "Shadow present on right lung...recheck in 2 months with follow up chest CT with contrast"
...Weight loss of 6 lbs over the course of a two plus weeks...Chest pains are now accompanied with nausea and heart burn. Falling asleep curled up in weeble position, propped up because laying on back increases pain. Laying on side makes rib cage feel like its splintering. Not much recuperative sleep happening. Sucks!
November 2012 - "Chronic pericarditis secondary to invasive lobular carcinoma...recheck in 2 months with follow up echocardiagram"
...Restart ozone infusion treatments. Start pounding "Meriva (aka Curcumin") like "skittles" (to challenge the inflammation). Scheduling IV vitamin C treatments. The game plays on.
Hi TC,
ReplyDeleteI always want to hear how you are...we share the same bc type. Always feel like you (me, all of us) are waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am considering very seriously, stopping the Femara after 4 years. I am worried about my bones, my eyes and my insomnia. Yes, this sucks but I feel that I shouldn't complain in light of what you and others are going through right now. I certainly do wish you the best. I wish I could do more than that.
Dee
Dee...I am always to truly happy to hear from you. Thank you! And sweet pea, if you can't b*tch here where the h*ll can you! Complain, rant, bitch, do whatever mkes you feel better in the moment. That is the raison d'etre of mine and most other's cancer blogs! Much love and affection for today and the New Year. xxoo ~ TC
DeleteHope the next report will be filled with good news, for your sake.All the best...
ReplyDeleteThandi - thank you so much. At this point in my cancer journey I like to think that the medical ambivalence on my "state of health" is a good thing. If it is not "big" enough for the med-pros to point to and definitively say what "it" is, then the odds are in my favor...at least for the moment.
DeleteHappiest of New Years to you. ~ TC
TC, your wit and wisdom is wonderful. What you are going through, definitely *not* wonderful. My 2013 wish for you: a great big dollop of whatever it is you find comfort in, with unlimited refills. May the new year be uneventful, with less surprises, more joy, and plenty of laughter. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteRenn - so good to hear from you. I am an avid follower ;=)
DeleteI like DOLLOPs: sweet, sticky, gooey, crunchy, sour ...I'm good with them all!
Thank you, I am working on uneventful myself. One of my constant mantras is "let me be bored...just for a day!"
xxoo ~ TC