******
Truckin' like the doodah man
Once told me "Gotta play your hand
Sometimes the cards ain't worth a dime
If you don't lay them down"
Sometimes the lights all shining on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
What a long strange trip it's been
One year ago today I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Carcinoma - Stage III (in truth the staging came in August after the mastectomy). One year of "survivorship" under my belt...only four to nine more years to surpass the prognosis! (
How's that for a point spread!)
What a wild ride it has been these last 12 months. It is with utter amazement that I reflect back on the day my mortality was handed to me, with a soundtrack courtesy of YES reverberating through me. That day was a lifetime ago.
Today, if I am lucky, the wild ride will continue. The landscape may change, however.
What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She lost her sparkle you know she isn't the same
Living on reds and vitamin C and cocaine
All her friends can say is ain't it a shame
One of the realities that I discovered along this road is, that when facing your mortality it is not about "battling" a foe or trying to regain what was "normal" before. Rather, the ride is about developing a "new reality" that allows me to live with a chronic disease.
I cannot say that I have succeeded in my new
reality. I don't know how "success" should be defined. What I can say is, that I have embraced the road I am on. It is a road beset with rabbit holes. It is also a road that is shrouded with many uncertainties. Yet, there can be clarity even in the darkness. At all times on the road I am cognizant of my long term objective -- the legacy, if you will. This knowledge is what helps keep me from getting too distracted by the "tea parties"* of Vitamin C & D and Calcium Glucarate.
So today, I take a breath. I embrace that I've been on the road for a year. And I note that I have more than earned the status of "survivor."
* No political connotation intended what-so-ever!