I am a devotee of many of my breast cancer "colleagues" blogs. Fabulous, courageous, funny, warm, honest women whom I have never met personally. But who have provided me with a window to share my journey; as well as varying perspectives to color and inform my own path.
In viewing a link to another post via "Desiderdata" http://desideratajourney.blogspot.com/ today, I came across a hauntingly beautiful and profound black and white retrospective, lovingly documented by a husband, of his wife's breast cancer journey.
It is a must-see: http://mywifesfightwithbreastcancer.com/. I set it to "slide-show" and was so captivated I found myself on the fourth loop before I could tear myself away. And then I found myself emotionally staggered. This is not Pink.This is the reality
It is not necessarily the battle with cancer that we (the collective "we") are fighting. Rather it is the battle with the treatment. If the cancer doesn't kill "us" the treatment most certainly will.
I knew this. But somehow the harsh reality of this obvious fact hit me in the chest today - literally. Treatment has been the most contentious battle-front, for me, since my BC-Day -- July 8, 2009.
It is not the dying of cancer that gives me night terrors. It is the living as a cancer patient that sends me physiologically reeling.