Well, at least it’s not c-a-n-c-e-r!
So many times I hear this pronouncement when someone shares the
travails in their life or that of a person close to them. What does this self-assuring phrase mean to the
utterer? What does it mean to the hearer?
It harkens me back to the victorian age when C-A-N-C-E-R was hissed in
hushed tones, as if saying it in polite conversation was unseemly, bad-form, or
worse – made the disease communicable.
To the one sighing in relief, “well…at least it’s not cancer”, it
is comforting as if this means the sufferer in question has somehow dodged a
terminal bullet.
To the recipient of this sighed utterance, it can mean further
isolation – especially if you yourself has C-A-N-C-E-R. Those of us with
C-A-N-C-E-R do not have a red letter on our chests (or a pink, or a purple…but
I digress).
It may mean that in the minds of the speaker anything is still
better than c-a-n-c-e-r … that O-T-H-E-R disease. It may mean that C-A-N-C-E-R
is still the feared death-sentence that it has historically been. It may mean
that subconsciously people do not b-e-l-i-e-v-e the propaganda perpetuated by
the C-A-N-C-E-R I-N-D-U-S-T-R-Y. They
may not believe the rhetoric that “awareness” is somehow a cure. They would
accept anything but c-a-n-c-e-r.
I don’t buy into the billboards, TV commercials, print ads,
direct-mail advertising, pop-up ads, runs, walks, retail-awareness. I do,
however, understand the fear and the loneliness C-A-N-C-E-R can engender in a
person. I would not wish C-A-N-C-E-R on my worst nemesis. Yet, I will not be
hushed when I say C-A-N-C-E-R when speaking about myself, because it is part of
life and reality.
What do I say in return when I am privy to the sighed utterance, well
at least it’s not…. ?
Nothing.
I nod.
It would be unseemly and bad-form to do otherwise. One social faux-pas
in a conversation is quite enough.
